Everyone Can Succeed at Making Me a Success

Okay fellow aspiring writers, here at yet another late hour I have been struck by yet another epiphany!

If all YA writers will stop submitting to agents for six months, one of them will have no choice but to sign me. I'll even take the first one that offers, providing he or she is in my top 25. Then, after the contract is signed on the dotted line, I will make a glorious announcement that I have finally been agented and you can all go back to querying.

Take this time to polish up those third and fourth drafts, outline your next work, and finally finish that work in progress. Whether it be fiction, like Harry Potter and A Million Little Pieces, or non fiction, like How to Understand the Dewey Decimal System and any script written by Wes Anderson. (A work is considered nonfiction if it makes you sleepy, right?)

Or, if you're unlike me and have a life, kiss your girlfriend, boyfriend, or goat. Perhaps you have a spouse and have some arguing to catch up on, or maybe you even need to see "a guy" about the fastest way to receiving said loved one's life insurance policy. And you could always pet your children and prized vases. Cherish the tiny little things. Those vases won't end up tossing you in a nursing home.

So thank you already, as I know everyone will concede that this is what is best for the writing community.

If it's good for the Brad, it's good for everybody!