Magical Funtime Election 2008: Santa Claus Attack Ad

I’m Santa Claus and I approve this message.

Willy Wonka can’t be trusted to lead. Just look at his record as Candyland Governor.

Raised taxes ten times on peppermint stick income, leading to an unprecedented rise in halitosis cases throughout Candyland.

Supported the Healthy Skin Initiative, wherein 2,000 Loompas had their green skin forcibly bleached white.

Used taxpayer dollars to fund the rebuilding of his glass ceiling elevator shaft ten times—at a cost of 20 million dollars.

Agreed with current Magical Funtime Republic President Yosemite Sam that Funtime had to invade Cerealatoria, despite any real intelligence that proved Count Chocula had acquired weapons of mass marshmallows.

He sings creepy little songs that make children cry.

Willy Wonka. A racist who sings weird, breaks things, and likes bad breath.

Paid for by Reindeers for Santa.