Magical Funtime Election 2008: Santa Claus Won't Help Loompas

The only thing fatter than Santa Claus’s waistline are the lies he vomits from his fat mouth.

Fact: Willy Wonka has done more for the Loompa community than any other leader.

Fact: All skin bleachings were voluntary and done to cure impoverished Loompas stricken with Volcano’s disease. A rare acne related illness that causes Loompas to develop orange sores that spew green puss.

Fact: The whitening is a harmless side effect.

What has Senator Claus done about this? We’ll let him answer.

“I think Volcano’s disease is an illness of the vain...we ought to make those filthy Loompas take a bath every now and then, then taxpayers wouldn’t have to pay for their little midget Clear-a-sil treatments!”

Santa Claus. An obese, hateful old man who’s out of touch.
And wants Loompas to have puss dripping down their face.

Gross.

Paid for by Friends of Volcano Be Gone Face Wash.